fairytale dinner

I'm not sure what we had for dinner the other night.
I was at the local Asian grocery/veggie store when I saw a sign for "young leeks".
"Oh!" I thought, "These must be those 'ramps' all the bloggers were talking about a few weeks back!" and added them to my basket without another thought.
I came home and we decided on ramp pizza for dinner.
It was only then that I looked a little more closely at what I had bought and started feeling like Little Red Ridinghood when she encountered the wolf where her Grandma should have been.

My, what strange leaves you've got;

And what strange hollow stems you have;

In fact, I don't think you're leeks at all! You're, you're... alas, I have no idea what they were.

As there was no brave woodsman to rescue us from the wolf-in-leeks-clothing, we (Baker Son and I) forged on and continued with the recipe. I washed them and tasted them (bland),

Sauteed them, adding mushrooms for good measure. Tasted again (still bland).

By the time we put them on the pizza base, we'd decided to go whole hog -- well in the vegetarian sense anyway -- and put lentils and artichoke hearts on there too.

And what we ended up with was not a ramp pizza at all. It was a mushroom, artichoke heart, lentil pizza with unidentifiable and tasteless greens.

At least it didn't try to eat us and we lived to tell the tale.